During the Pregnancy

The best part of waiting to become a grandparent is that the pregnancy is not your own.  The hardest part is that, particularly for the first grandchild, you will most likely be told that all your advice is outdated and reminiscences about child birth irrelevant and often the response is that “things have changed since you had children” – said with a condescending tone. You will be please to know that basically nothing has changed.  The pregnancy seems to last forever and then the baby eventually arrives pretty much when it wants in the manner of millions before.  The first few weeks are hell and the parents get little sleep.  The precious bundle of joy eats, sleeps, cries and needs constant nappy changes – and just as the parents think they have it sorted their world is turned around by the next stage.

Despite this truth you will have to hold your tongue (well I suggest you do for your own sake) and listen to the latest in pregnancy advice – mainly about diet – all of which will seem inordinately complicated and unnecessary as we managed, in high proportions, to give birth to healthy babies with much less angst.  You may wish to visit some of the more popular sites for pregnancy just to be in the ‘know’ no matter how frustrating it is.  The good news is (as with our own children) subsequent pregnancies are usually a much more casual and relaxed 9 months. Notwithstanding the latest fads and fuss the no smoking and minimum to no alcohol during pregnancy is eminently sensible.

Some expectant mums might appear to be quite obsessed with all that they read on the internet about pregnancy and the early months after the birth.  So to keep up with what the mum’s to be are reading on the web I encourage you to visit some of the more popular sites. You might not agree with it all but at least you will understand the latest thinking and influences.

Check out the links below for just a tiny glimpse at of what’s available on the web around pregnancy –

Pregnancy Birth and Beyond
Birth – pregnancy, labour and birth resource
Essential Baby  – from pregnancy to toddlers

What can grandparents do for the expectant mum (and dad)?

It is a tough time (remember). Your body changes in the most unexpected ways – nausea, indigestion, weight gain, mood swings, skin and hair changes and more. It can even be hard to wear contact lenses and your favourite shoes no longer fit.  Ughhhhh.   There are good days and bad days. Happy days and sad days. (Come on you remember how it was). In your quest to become World’s Best Grandmother now is the time to start impressing!

Things you might consider providing to help out the expectant mother during this time:

• Help with the housework (your time or someone else’s – there are agencies)
• A bit of random baby sitting (if there are siblings)
• Shopping trips (with lots of rest stops)
• A spa treatment (suitable for pregnant women)
• Organise a hairdo day (for her and for you – you both need to look your best for baby’s arrival)
• Buy new mum a rocking chair or glider and ottoman for those late night feeds about to happen
• Buy some baby stuff that might be helpful or just plan cute
  • A stylish back pack style baby bag
  • A range of travel sized baby products (wipes, creams, disposable nappies, etc) for the baby bag
  • A bottle steriliser (there are some now for microwaves)
  • A baby sling
  • Eco friendly reusable nappies or disposable nappies
  • Baby basics blanket, towel, bibs, singlets, rompers, sleeping bag
  • Portable cot
  • Portable high chair
• Try not to frighten them about the costs of raising a child.  But if you feel they need help to understand the commitment they are about to begin send them to The Smart Dollar – Cost of Raising a Child Calculator.  It is an American site but you will get the drift.  Scary!

Once baby is home

Some parents will want to be alone to settle in.  Some will love ‘advice’ and drop in visits.  Other parents will not.

Play it by ear.  Many new mothers (and dad’s too) experience post natal depression.

Just keep an eye and ear to the situation, without crossing those boundaries that new families have – and they will vary.  Just think of when you first arrived home with baby.

When it’s right you might need to mention baby safety.  Working between helicopter and free-range child raising is quite the challenge – as you well know.  Finding the balance between wanting that bubble wrap to protect children and how to survive in the world they must learn to be self-managing.

This is an interesting article on making the home safe for babies and young children